Never been kissed

One of the other Arabic classes went to dinner at their 24-year-old teacher, Peter’s, house. Sometime during the meal the differences in dating and relationships came up. Like who hasn’t kissed before? Someone said. Peter raised his hand.

How the men and women interact here, the cultural expectations, relationship norms and traditions are one of the most interesting differences between here and the United States.

Last night—by the time I post this, i.e. no internet, who knows when, we had a surprise birthday party at a café for two of our Egyptian friends. We were hanging out, just talking when one of the guys suggested we play spin the bottle.

WHAT!! Maybe when we were 14 and even then…lol. They reassured us, no, we just ask each other questions.

Culture, marriage, relationships, politics…no alcohol, drugs not even sheisha…Real conversation.

Some of the differences are hard to take. For example all the girls we meet have curfews. They’ll go home early or not come out at all while the majority of the guys can stay out ‘til all hours.

The guys also refuse to let us take cabs alone or pay for them.

While in the United States, I wouldn’t put up with it—after all I’m the girl who ruins first dates by insisting on going Dutch…here I think of it differently. These guys don’t mean the same things by it, they’re paying because they really believe it’s right, women here often don’t have money, jobs and don’t take cabs alone to begin with. It goes beyond egotism or macho-ism it’s about caring, friendship and I think treating us as they would any other friend or sister.

I think because of the different expectations overall, kind gestures seem more genuine from them. I’ve learned more about Egypt and people in general from them and then I ever could from a course, a moderated dialogue or my own observations…

While I like that things are more laid back, people don’t rush through things as much—by choice or not… I also wonder if the oppression results in the harassment—i.e. catcalls, hisses, stares—we encounter everywhere we go. While I feel physically safer here than in the United States, the words and stares become exasperating. Control yourself! Is my general gut reactions. I try to hold back my disgust, realize they don’t mean anything by it…it's so hypocritical...

The other night about a bunch of the guys came back to our hotel to hang out. Within two minutes of entering our room the phone rang. Egyptian guys aren’t allowed in your room, it’s hotel policy. Katharine, Tara and I were more furious than the guys, it’s OK it’s OK they said and discouraged us from arguing.

They ended up letting us chill on the porch, I guess where there was no danger of extramarital sex…

My first reaction was shock and outrage; the engineering guys have all been over without a problem. Besides the fact that I don’t like being told who can and cannot be in our rooms the fact that they said “Egyptians,” specifically is what infuriated me.

I'm trying to be open-minded. It’s like the receptionist was looking out for fellow Egyptians—i.e. Americans are not their business, the hotel’s reputation and the values, agree or not, with the society we’re in.

I asked one of the guys the other night what one thing he would change about his religion. He said how people interpret it.

Unrelated topic wise...but check it out. This was a favorite spot downtown where some of the above took place.
Also interesting, after performing she came around looking for tips, which we, still in awe from her performance, immediately gave her. The boys told us we didn't do it discreetly enough. It's not to make a show, they explained. It supposed to be from the heart, between you and God, you and the person, not something to show other people or benefit in earthly ways from.